A RUNNING GIRL'S SWINGING PONYTAILS STILL MAKE ME SWOON!

They are so small - yet they aren't. The potential to change their world around them exists in them. What they make of it is `their' affair. Yet I could sow the seeds and through them change the entire history of mankind.

Having seen `nirvana' what more the `power that be' wants me to see.

A running girl's ponytails swinging like two pendulums still cause me to `swoon'.

You have set a goal for yourself, irrespective of the fact that it may be achieved or not. The fierce motivation will itself see it through - the joys of fighting herculean battles where all odds are against - is so tempting.

I must not let myself be swayed by what are my `spontaneous' thoughts - I must focus them to a logical point - if at all my life has to have a statement.

The `world' has many toxins for me to be wounded again and again. The refusal to accept them is my way of living. That SHAMBHUNAHALLI is actually going to become my real `home' for my eternity - is a fact that is slowly sinking in.

But I would need my `fixes' - I would need young children playing basketball - for then I could L I V E forever in their minds and bodies.

Putting words to paper and imagining myself as a `scholar' or a`philosopher' or at least a `freak product of environment' in which I have lived the last 55 years - is a favourite past-time of mine.

Who gives me this right to `feel' that I am unique and better than the best. Who gives me this thought that `but for me' the world would be a poor place to live in. What is it that I have contributed - what is it that I have given back in excess of what I have received! I know no answers - I have no logic to go by - yet the `journey of life' I have lived - I wouldn't exchange it for the greatest riches of the world - and the best part is that - THE REALLY BEST is about to happen!

The implosion continues. The `feelings' that were supposed to be unleashed - didn't develop. A calm neutrality - a wonderful nothingness is all that is left in this body. The contacts that once upon a time unleashed dramatic upheavals - now refuse to be be acknowledged by my mind. I suddenly feel nirvana is within my grasp.

I write this thinking no one will ever read this and even if they were to - how would they connect it. So where is the statement that I wish to make and yet wanting that no-one should know about my dark side. AN EVIL DRAPED IN WHITE!

The greatest falsehood is - `searching for truth' - searching for a meaning to your life. It sets you up on a `mirage' chase from which you can't shake yourself off.

AND perpetuates a willingness to get `fooled' again and again and like an ostrich put your head in the sand and `wishing the wolf away'. Stop searching and you have the answer! [The non-existence of the question implies an answer. In the name of intellectual gymnastics the fear that I will be called a `dim wit' - I must enter the wild goose chase - that every so called intellectual indulges in. I, for one, refuse this premise - Life need not be a bundle of questions - IT CAN JUST BE, - there is no need for any dissections.

I WILL LIVE LIFE AND WONDER AT MY LIVING - FOR I KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS.

Tomorrow's night is the last night of my gods at Sumpoorna [at least as far as this camp is concerned]. Saying Bye Bye is so difficult - yet so much has been learnt. I have been able to lay to rest all my demons - now I can live in peace!

The matches bring out the best in us and also the worst. Nobody is unaffected - the players, the coaches, the table officials, the promoters; the winners are on top of the world - the losers are at the opposite spectrum. The euphoria or the frustration will last a few days - the memories will live for a life-time.

I and my Sumpoorna will go on and on till one day we too depart from the show!

SUMPOORNA is a canvas on which these young children leave their foot-prints [or hand prints] for us to savor as memories - years nay decades from now. Their world will never be the same again - just as they change our world - we change theirs forever.

We are here, for their joy - they are here by an accidental blunder in the sporting history of our nation. What is their right - has been denied to them and an albatross has been hung around their necks. They are here to firmly remove it and cast it so far away, that it shall never be near them again.

I, Subhash Mahajan, son Puran Chand - call myself SUMPOORNA - the totality of childhood - promise to live the remainder of my life - liberating children from the serfdom of `incomplete education' and give through sports, especially through basketball.

This must be a record of sorts. Being able to write one day perpage is a luxury I haven't had for the past few months. That at Sumpoorna I have achieved it - must be a new high for my writing. Let me pat myself on the back. When I came here - I wanted to make a statement that SUMPOORNA, from now, will become more of my home. I still don't think I am yet ready. I have been too spoilt by the available luxuries of Bangalore to get used to the `ruggedness of Sumpoorna".

I hope the time would come soon, for I have lost enchantment with my surroundings at Bangalore but crave them [my daily fixes] because of five decades of habit. Breaking free isn't so easy. Yet I must - if at all I want to lead a life free of `desires' that I continuously am reducing. Food is a big thing with me - in spite of my being able to eat most of the things I never ate earlier. Hopefully, slowly and steadily I would do same for other things. Yet this trip must remain an important step.

MY WISHES AUTOMATICALLY HAPPEN!

If whatever I wish is a `transient' - then whatever I wish would automatically happen.

In the odd chance that it doesn't - it only shows, that the purpose isn't there - and hence not needed.

FOR WHOM SHALL I GIVE MY LIFE! I SHALL GIVE IT TO THE CHILDREN WHO DARE TO DREAM!

The world has given me so much - only a few years earlier on I was cursing this world for not giving me enough. Now that I have enough - it is time to share it. The only way I know is to spend my time with children talking to them of their and my dreams. Lately I have realised that children today hardly dream. Those who dream - their wings are cut off and they are told that they shouldnot fly.

THIS IS MONSTROUS. I shall give my life to these voiceless but the most prized human beings on the earth. We have today reached a pinnacle because our forefathers dared to dream. But we are far faster now falling off from this pinnacle because we have stopped dreaming - and hate others who dream. We want all of our children to become graduate engineers or software engineers or job-seekers. We are scared that our children become artists or musicians or wildnerness trekkers or or --- what other dreams they have in their minds.

I want to run says the child - DONOT say the parents `YOU WILL GET HURT'. I want to climb the mountains and run in the river beds - DONOT say the elders `IT IS VERY DANGEROUS'. In all of my spare time I tell the children to run - climb and venture outside in harsh conditions - for then dreams come easy. I SHALL GIVE MY LIFE TO THEM SO THAT THEY TOO DREAM!

A child comes home to mother and proudly shows a bruise - it is a medal of survival. Donot look at every hurt as `danger' - the real danger is in taking away the spirit of adventure. JOIN ME - LET US MAKE OUR CHILDREN DREAM! Billions of light years away a billion civilizations are waiting for us to spread our wings and fly! To do that we must say as JFK said `I have a dream'.

THE MORE TIRED I AM THE MORE I WANT TO WORK!

Very often while conducting tournaments - I develop my lower back-ache; this in turn sends signals to my brain that I AM TIRED. I start feeling that I am over-working myself. But a day later - I start looking at FRIDAY - SATURDAY & SUNDAY : I start thinking of what I shall be doing - Camp for Vth standard children - All girls' camp - Visit to which JNV - which cup SUMPOORNA - SARGANTINE - REGENCY etc. etc.

My tiredness flies out of the window and I start to plan and execute whatever I have decided on. The greater the tiredness - the greater the urge to work. BECAUSE

Wordsworth? The woods are dark, lovely and deep
But I have many promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep

I WANT TO PLAY! YOU SHALL SAYS 7/3 - I SHALL FIGHT THIS BATTLE UNTO MY DEATH.

All children want to play. This fundamental right of the child is enshrined in principle 7 para 3 - for us 7/3. Others will talk of 26/11 or 9/11 - now we have 7/3. PLEASE PLEASE FOR GOD SAKE - read it!

The voiceless children have been given this right in 7/3. Slavery has been abolished long back - except child slavery which continues to flourish for various reasons. AND WHEN THIS EXISTS even in middle class and rich homes then what can we say of the poor. Financial reasons make parents treat their children as ACADEMIC SLAVES - they must get their degrees with certain percentage of marks - get certain type of college admissions and then land certain type of jobs - not to get ECONOMIC INDEPENDCE but ECONOMIC SLAVERY of credit cards and EMIs. These children hate themselves - hate their jobs and they have no love lost for their children who must do the same.

THE RIGHT TO BE A CHILD is now being deprived even to a two or three year old. He must learn his As and 1s because the neighbour's child has learnt it.

ARYAN, my grandson of seven months - has started getting his share of `rote chanting' [I hope my son and daughter-in-law don't read this blog - and if they do then I apologise to them]. BUT I WANT FREEDOM FOR MY ARYAN AND ALSO THOSE BILLIONS OF ARYANS OF THE WORLD.

ARYAN SAYS - I WANT TO PLAY. YOU SHALL - says 7/3 - says his grandfather. I shall fight this battle unto to my death.

I CAN'T WAIT - I WILL DO IT NOW!

When I was a child - I was often told that certain things I could do only after I grew up. AND there were others who also told the same thing - in many different ways. For a time I accepted their verdict but as I grew up I saw the `bluff'. I started seeing people who had not accepted this verdict and gone ahead and did what they wanted to do.

Slowly and steadily I made my own rules. Roads go up the hill and a bus can take you there. But I preferred to climb the hills through my own way. The more difficult the way the tastier the climb. It became a habit. Climbing tall buildings via staircase.
Doing things I wanted to do - when I wanted to do. The non-conformist in me became more and more focussed. What others did - I refused to do - I made my own DO IT list and that included a clause `DONOT DO WHAT OTHERS DO'.

I wanted to write this - I COULDNOT WAIT - I WROTE IT NOW!

THE MOSAIC OF MEDIOCRITY

As I search avenues to create excellence in children - the very people who are supposed to mentor them have a mosaic of mediocrity. They see a child - a nobody - a thrusted unwanted responsibility.

I see the same child having the potential to make this world into a heaven or a hell. I see of what is possible - A BUDHA - A GANDHI and that creates in me revulsion for these mediocrities. How can they treat the `future Budhas' like this.

I am no `god creater' - the only action I can take is to `motivate' - surely a time will come in these young ones when the `seeds sown today' would sprout into giant ideas. That is the least I can do. AND FOR THIS, if I have to act out as a role model SO BE IT!

The perfection I have sought in my life - let it `motivate' nay let it `hibernate' in these young bodies and minds till the veil of `mediocrity' is thrown off and excellence shines through like a throbbing sun.