FOCUS is the key.
Look at the small tasks - how easily we finish them. Divide your tougher tasks into smaller parts - you can finish them easily too!
When you set out to `change' the world - first you must change; then you must change your loved ones AND only then the world starts changing.
Deserts can bloom into forests when a single rock defies the flow of sand - the little obstruction allows miniscule moisture to accumulate - the moisture helps the wind blown `seed' to grow - the sapling accumulates clay particules like a magnet - the tender roots ferociously search for nutrients - the young tree then stands as a sentinel - allowing other wind blown seeds to come and take root - and then mother earth nurtures them all - a young forest slowly grows - bringing with it new life!
The more you see - the more you get diverted from your `focus'. Learning to sieve the `acts' you see and then giving your atention only to the important ones you can help yourself as also the ones you want to help.
Whenever someone coughs - asking him about it shows your `concern' but also gives the other an opportunity to `show' his or her problem [maybe at times a little exaggerated]. Ignore it till you can visibly see that coughing is continuous and extreme - then provide the solution or practically get the person to a doctor. Merely asking `how are you' feeds the ego of the person . Actually doing something shows that your really `care'. Too many of our acts are cosmetic - its time we shifted our gears to the realistic realm.
This would give us self respect and dignity of a higher order and create our relationships to be more meaningful. Providing lip sympathy to a person who is sufferring is a deceit we should avoid. Taking firm action to set right the problem indicates a clarity of the mind.
To achieve targets on time - is possible to varying degrees in varying circumstances. A target achieved is not achievement - it merely denotes that the circumstances were perfect and everything was synchronised well enough for achievement.
However, the problem is when `others' effort is involved - they, in turn, are dependent on ideal environments for the `act' to take place. In all such cases - to give an excuse to people becomes embarrassing - especially when others know of you as a `prompt' man.
The best way to deal in such situations is to be flexible - like a rubber band - stretch it as far as possible without breaking it. Pull hard but use pragmatism, because too much is at stake at the farthest point beyond which it just won't go.
More relationships go sour becase the rubber band was pulled suddenly in a rash manner. Relax it a little bit - to pull further - sway with the wind - pulling and relasing it in bits helps your cause to the maximum possible.
But when you see the door ajar - when the intention is itself malafide - then go ahead, stretch it and break it off. You are better off without such people around you. But anyway give them a sufficient `relax' before you make the pull.
Often we are criticised. How we take it is an important issue. No matter who criticises -for whatever reasons - it indicates a desire on part of the critic to be heard. If you ride out the criticism just as you would a road hump - nothing would be lost.
But we often reply - either to placate that person or rashly retort at him - either way making a mistake. Silence would help in the immediate aftermath of criticism. It creates a cocoon around you - the critic often wonders at it. You have surprised him. The objective of most of the criticism is to create anguish - and /or anger coupled with humiliation - your silence indicates rejection.
Many would think that by not responding you are accepting the fact that the critic had charged you with. However, to ensure that you are not misunderstood - you can use the simple `silence' for a long enough period. At the end of that deep pause you have two options -
a] You just laugh in the face of the critic, or
b] You thank him for his honest opinion and praise him for being so forthright.
Either way you would make him squirm in his seat.
The peace is shatterred. Actions of others affect us - sometimes so much that we are forced to defend ourselves. You know the ugly news is going to come - sooner or later - the surprise is that it comes at the most unexpected moment. Life will go on but the tranquility will not be there. The joy of `peace' won't be there - till we learn to ignore these shattering moments and take them as `prasadam' - a price to be paid for being a part of this volatile world.
The child must stand on its own feet as early as posssible - yet its every fall is a blow to its parents. That it is a part of learning - this realization can reduce the pain but cannot completely remove it.
The thorny path of life - the flowers and the thorns that come by and by - are but the two sides of the coin. Sometimes you are prepared - the expected happens - and sometimes you are not - the unexpected forces its way as an intruder.
The `core' of life must be made immune to these flip-flops - whether in one's own life or that of our loved ones. For then life can be lived with a neutrality that would neither sadden us nor gladden us.
The colour of this pen [RED] indicate the transition - life must go on - some rules, though, may have to be changed.
The enormity of what has befallen us in our family is slowly sinking in. No matter how many times we hold each other - no matter how many tears we shed - a harsh fact is emerging - ARE WE IN CONTROL OF OURSELVES or are we a plaything of our environs.
The worst is over - from down below the gloomy well we must journey upwards to our `happy go lucky' attitude. But a shadow would always remain - as also the stark realisation that `worst' could have happened. It is time to take stock - time also to sit back and allow the `dust' to settle. Only then the rational thoughts will begin to merge.
What the future brings - no one knows and yet we can prepare ourselves. That the preparation would be so shattering for all of us - is, of course, because it was the expected unexpected. The images of this incident would keep re-playing again and again but then it is not the end of the world. It could, of course, be an end of something and beginning of another something.
To shape it to meet our dreams would need courage and resilience. Do we have it? The future would tell!