CUT THE BULLSHIT! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!

I have been using diplomatic words - words that lacked the ferocity of my thinking - hoping that you would understand. Since you refuse to - let me ask you to cut the bullshit. I have had enough! You violate the rights of children to play - in the name of giving them EDUCATION. Is education really what it is supposed to do? The education which creates a zombie who is capable of getting a fat pay check.

AND WHAT IS THE CONTRIBUTION OF THIS ZOMBIE - who has sucked the blood of his parents, sucked the blood of his country through subsidised education - will accumulate material wealth for his luxuries - and expect his progenies to follow in his foot-steps. WHAT IS THE ALTERNATIVE - YOU ASK?

I will give you the alternatives. Our traditional knowledge is extremely important for the whole world. We have to develop a proper mind-set. The world which cures diseases has to learn that PREVENTIVE MEASURES OF AYURVEDA are much more potent. We have to learn to combine the modern with the ancient - our failure to do so is the cause of so many problems.

The world has developed a measure for success MONEY! It isn't so - as we often learn. We have to stop calling every person working with his hands a POOR MAN! Poverty has to be redefined. Govts that impoverish its citizens and then give hand-outs must be recognized for what they are - CREATING BEGGARS out of honest upright workers. It is time to cut the bullshit! I have had enough! Have you, too?

I STILL WANT CHILDREN TO SIT ON MY LAPS AND REMOVE MY SELF-CREATED LONELINESS

This could be perhaps the deepest insight into my mind. I am perplexed by what I am doing. By day-time, I imagine a break-through in business - by afternoon I enjoy the lethargy of a semi retired life - by evening I am running at break neck speed on the basketball court trying to convert baskets - and by night the fact sink in that this day was the happiest of my life - AS EVERY DAY IT IS!

The cocoon with which I have surrounded myself allows me to indulge in any whims and fancies that I have - and for this I am indebted to the people who form this cocoon - my family, my colleagues in business and my students of basketball. They form the `core' of my reason to live and struggle. To ensure their joy I would do anything. They are the gods that I worship - just as they worship me as their god.

My home at SUMPOORNA is now as fulfilling as the one at Bangalore. I couldn't live without either - the extreme blessing that god has showered on me. I am alive to this fact that my life-bubble is nearing its end - hence the desire to give up `myself' in the totality is becoming stronger and stronger. AND this where my final `joys' live. I have arrived - of that I have no doubt. The travelling is over - the destination has been reached. The journies that others make I watch and wonder as to how I could help them. The desire to do something for them is very very great. I donot know whether this is right or not. If I could take away a little of their `pain' and give a `smile' - it would make my twilight years more meaningful.

I have come across people who cheated me for their gain. I bless them and pray to god that they too actualize their dreams as I have done. I have no grudges - no ill-will against them. I am also aware that there may still be `cheats' who would cross my path - but I also know that such people are cancelled out by the `good ones' who are with me.

To be able to play basketball with the young children, to be able to make their minds and bodies strong - I would like to do this till the end of my life. What the future holds for me - I donot know. But this is my strongest desire that SUMPOORNA becomes the battle cry of every child - and that to make their BODIES and MINDS strong is their goal. I have still not fully understood why SUMPOORNA has been created - what should be its goals - what should be its methodologies. I am still too much of a NON-CONFORMIST to allow any organization to run my `dream project'. I still want children to sit in my laps and fill up my self-created loneliness that I surround myself with.

I still want to be a child - and as children come to SUMPOORNA - I, too, like a child come here. Every basket they make - makes me feel that IT IS ME! I live in their bodies and minds. Their love will make me `immortal' - that which I donot seek. Let them create their own SUMPOORNAS when they grow up - let them be what they want to be [LET MY SUMPOORNA GIVE THEM STRONG MINDS AND BODIES]. Let god fulfill all their dreams as he has done mine.

YOU HAVE GROWN UP - I HAVE GROWN OLDER!

I remember the day I held your arms and swung you round and round. The heavens were watching in amazement - the time had stood still! I had the power in my arms - and you were smitten by this swinging round and round just connected by the joints of our hands. You and your friends came clamouring for more and more. AND THEN ALL OF YOU STARTED SWINGING EACH OTHER - it was something I will never forget. Who was swinging whom, it didn't matter. Everyone wanted to be swung and everyone wanted to swing some one.

It had all started spontaneously. I remember my uncle doing it to me when I was just five years. I remember doing it to my younger sister - and as I grew up I was doing it with my younger students and NOW IT WAS YOU!

AND NOW I HEAR THAT YOU HAVE GROWN UP! You have grown up. And I have grown older. Even if I want to swing you - WOULD YOU LET ME? Or rather, WILL I HAVE THE POWER TO SWING YOU? An act of joy that you and I shared - may not be possible. It is not possible for you NOT TO GROW UP and it is not possible for me not to grow older.

WHO AM I? I AM MYSELF!

Who am I? It is easy to answer if an identification is to be made. My nationality, my colour of skin, my age, my diseases etc. etc will identify me. Yet to me - myself; I still cannot answer this question - WHO AM I?

I may be sometimes what I claim to be - and at other times I maynot be. This is my paradox - I donot know WHO I AM? Sometimes people help - they identify me as a just person or an unjust one; liar or truthful - and by other actions that I perform. But even then the question remains unanswered.

BUT there is one thing I know very clearly - I AM MYSELF! I know my body very well - what it can and can't do - I know who are my enemies and who are my friends - I know which family I belong to.

BUT there is another way I know myself - I know my good desires and bad desires - I know when I am a saint and when I am a rogue - when I have thoughts that if people knew they would hang me from the nearest electric pole.

I know I am good - yet I can be very bad. I know I am honest - but often I am dishonest! I know I am - yet, their lurks this doubt - WHO AM I? It is at such times I tell myself - I AM MYSELF!

WHAT WE DO TODAY - WILL AFFECT THE FUTURE?

Sometimes we think we can get away with murder. You are right - the only thing we don't realize is this - THAT WE MURDER OUR OWN!

On one of my journies across rural areas - I came across an old man planting some trees on the roadside. I asked him what was the point in planting trees on the road since it will not fetch him any income and also as he was old - will he live long enough to eat its fruits. I KNOW ALL OF YOU WILL JUMP KNOWING `what answer he gave'. We have read the story many times - but DO WE REALLY UNDERSTAND?

His answer is - What I plant today is for my children and grandchildren - the way my grandfather planted trees for me. NOW - read this carefully : WHAT I DO TODAY - impacts the future of my children. Read it once again - and once more! Read it in your mind every time YOU DO SOMETHING. And, of course, when you realize that everything you do today will impact the future of your child - YOUR ACTIONS will slowly undergo a change.

From laughing at the old man - I now see him as one of my greatest teachers ever! I plant `thoughts' in my basketball students of WHAT THEY CAN BE! I know the future of my students is assured for they know WHAT THEY OUGHT TO KNOW!

THE NO-ONE

We all want to be someone - known, admired and loved. But as I grow I want to be a no-one. By being nothing, my soul seeks detachment - freedom from pitiable desires.

But the fact of matter is that as I seek detachment - people around me want to attach themselves to me. What I sought in my childhood and youth and didn't get - in my middle ages I get it but am not wanting it.

The knowing that inspite of being a `no-one' - when I am treated as a someone - I `act' the someoneness to help the people around me.

The day I am totally no-one - I AWAIT! Isn't it foolish to WANT to be NO-ONE, when you are already no-one.

I CANNOT STOP FOR `COMFORTS'!

I am but a child of two years who has just started to walk and talk. I wonder at the great mysteies of nature - and wonder why I donot understand everything. Probably I will, as I grow older.

The realm of nature is to be experienced - no matter how many books you have read - or movies that you have seen. Unless your body brushes the trees; the soul meanders into the valleys and desires take you to lofty hills - you cannot understand the myriad shapes of nature. AND when a little understanding permeates your system a wry smile is all that remains for you suddenly realise the vastness of the task you have undertaken. Like that of a traveller who is told that the destination is just a `little further' and this `little further' makes him travel whole of the day.

The principle behind this philosophy is simple - if you know the `whole' you will be stumped in your tracks. To know little - and then go `little further' may enable you to realise your goal with ease.

My happiness lies in the fact that I have earnestly begun my journey - this job of self realisation that I have set for myself - I hope it ends in joy for everyone - those who love me and also those who don't.

I hope I can follow yester-year greats and begin the process of `path making' for the generations to come. The yearning of my ATMAN cannot be stopped for mere `mortal' comforts!

LIFE IS BUT ONLY A JOURNEY

Let there be no lights in the darkness - they sting my eyes. Let there be no darkness in the bright day - it wounds my soul!

When all around me there is pervasive ignorance what shall I do with my little lamp of knowledge. The howling winds will blow off this light in a fraction of a second if I step out - yet the possibility that I may get another unlit lamp [safely cocooned from these winds] is so tempting.

Within my own mind there is this all inclusive brightness and there isn't any nano space in which a shadow could reside. So be it!

What is - will be! What can't be - shan't be!

Life's vibrancy must co-exist with the immortality of non-life. Both EXIST! The living must take from the non-living to exist and the dead must rejoin in the chain of non-living. Here there are no choices - life is but only a journey.